How It Begins

The Silent Voice, Gerald Edward Moira

With a whisper. A gust. A wick of inspiration kissing against your neck. My first novel, unfinished as they all are, came to me as I walked through Kit Carson Park in Taos, New Mexico, dodging feral dogs and advancing tree roots. A girl started murmuring her secrets in my ear and I kept trying to ignore her.

“I am a poet.”

That’s what I told the ghostgirl voice. “I am not writing fiction. That’s not what I do.”

Fast forward a decade later and I was finishing my M.F.A. in Creative Writing in fiction. Why? That kiss of story across my skin. That heat. That invitation. Another eight years down, I am still listening.

I’ve decided to do NaNoWriMo 2021, though I know many people say it is gimmicky and overwhelming. I don’t feel that way—at least not this year. I feel like I want to challenge myself. I want to break through the hesitations of my novel rewrite and take on this crazy, impossible thing cheering others on and staying accountable. Since leaving social media (mostly) in mid-July, I am finding my way back to creative community again in phases.

Into NaNoWriMo community and Twitter…maybe back to my Instagram after. I am in community with my characters. These ones have been with me for a couple of years now. But, I am looking for other places, too. If you’ve found yourself here and are looking for the same, let’s connect. Let’s do crazy, impossible things like write novels together in a month. Even if we “fail,” it’s words—immersion. Connection. Inspiration. Fire.

How it begins.

2019: A Year in Books

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In 2019, I ended up finishing just forty-eight books for the year. 2019 was a revelation for my personal life and in many other ways, so there was a lot going on. Work was busy at my day job. Creatively, I focused on converting my novel to a novella, which then topped the shortlist honors for a book prize (and which I am now turning back into a full novel again). I traveled. I fell in love. I had failures and made terrible mistakes. I had successes and felt incredibly proud of myself. I moved into a new house. I got rid of half of my book collection. I broke and mended several times. It was a wild, wild year. Through it all, I was reading.

***2019***

  1. Animal Bride by Sara Quinn Rivara

  2. Hollow Kingdom by Kira Jane Buxton

  3. A Mind of Your Own by Dr. Kelly Brogan

  4. Inland by Tea Obreht

  5. Eating the Sun by Ella Frances Sanders

  6. The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry

  7. The Electric Woman by Tessa Fontaine

  8. The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell*

  9. All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

  10. The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo

  11. Year of the Monkey by Patti Smith

  12. The Waves by Virginia Woolf

  13. Periodic Companions by Laynie Browne

  14. Landline by Rainbow Rowell

  15. Flash Count Diary by Darcey Steinke

  16. The Skinned Bird by Chelsea Biondolillo

  17. Witches, Sluts, Feminists by Kristen Sollee

  18. Mating in Captivity by Ester Perel

  19. I’m Happy Just to Be Here by Janelle Hanchett

  20. Figuring by Maria Popova

  21. Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

  22. Ginger Bread by Helen Oyeyemi

  23. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver*

  24. The Collected Schizophrenias by Esme Weijun Wang

  25. The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker

  26. Bowlaway by Elizabeth McCracken

  27. Girls Burn Brighter by Shobha Rao

  28. The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin

  29. Census by Jesse Ball

  30. Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

  31. All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung

  32. Women who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes*

  33. The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker

  34. Uprooted by Naomi Novik*

  35. The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro

  36. Just Kids* by Patti Smith

  37. Among the Ten Thousand Things by Julia Pierpont

  38. The Rainbow by D.H. Lawrence*

  39. Northern Lights by Phillip Pullman

  40. All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

  41. Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood*

  42. The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton

  43. Gilead by Marilynne Robinson*

  44. Alternate Side by Anna Quindlen

  45. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott*

  46. Train Dreams by Denis Johnson

  47. The Trauma Cleaner by Sarah Krasnostein

  48. The Passion by Jeanette Winterson*

My Top Books of 2019 (in no particular order)

  1. Flash Count Diary by Darcey Steinke

  2. Figuring by Maria Popova

  3. Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

  4. The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo

  5. Hollow Kingdom by Kira Jane Buxton

  6. The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker

  7. Animal Bride by Sara Quinn Rivara

  8. The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker

  9. The Skinned Bird by Chelsea Biondolillo

  10. The Waves by Virginia Woolf

As always, the top ten list is a tough one to choose because my reading is so dependent on mood and this changes regularly. But, each of these stood out to me in very real ways. I like that my top ten were all women, but that wasn’t something I was conscious of as I chose them. Darcey Steinke was my writing advisor in my MFA program, but I loved the book for its brilliance, not for knowing her. I read and re-read Chelsea Biondolillo’s book at least three times and will likely read it again (ditto with Animal Bride by Sara Quinn Rivara—which is poetry), so use that information as you will.

I am already two books deep and on my third in this second full week of 2020, but I have a lot of very specific writing targets for my own book this year, so it might be another “shorter” reading list. As always, follow me on IG at @bookandbird if you want to see more about what I am reading and creating. I hope you all have a beautiful, bookish 2020!

Breadcrumb #524

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“Death. The body in its most natural state. The end of wanting. The quieting of the heart and its infinite cravings. Give me. Touch me. Love me back. See me. The body elegance of all that is gone. Exposed. Bones holding moonlight. Bones holding marrow like thin hives. Honeybees take sustenance here. Now, let me be hollow. Essential. Self. Death as downstream. In death, my body owes nothing. 

In love, it asks everything.”

Read the rest of my fiction piece, published in Breadcrumbs Magazine: HERE.