2018: A Year in Books

As 2018 ended, I finished my seventy-second book of the year. It was the second year I was aiming to hit 100, but didn’t, so in 2019 I am not setting any number goals—just going wherever the reading journey takes me. I can’t tell you enough about what books mean to me. I have started a whole Instagram just devoted to my reading @bookandbird and am thankful on a daily basis for the comfort, inspiration, and perspective books provide. Without further ado, here’s my 2018 list in the order each was read. Any books with a * are re-reads for me and I will give more thoughts at the end about my favorites and other reading notes.

***2018***

1. The Axe Lectures by Brianna Johnson

2. Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders

3. The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn

4. Red Clocks by Leni Zumas

5. Women & Power by Mary Beard

6. The Book of Dust by Philip Pullman

7. The Philosopher’s Flight by Tom Miller

8. The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery

9. An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

10. A Baker’s Year by Tara Jensen

11. Come in and Cover Me by Gin Phillips

12. Reframing Organizations by Bolman & Deal

13. River of No Return by Bee Ridgway

14. Arcadia by Lauren Groff*

15. Heart Berries by Terese Marie Mailhot

16. Hekate Her Sacred Fires by Sorita D’Este

17. I am, I am, I am by Maggie O’Farrell

18. The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan

19. The Changeling by Victor Lavalle

20. Garments Against Women by Anne Boyer

21. Full Woman, Fleshy Apple, Hot Moon by Pablo Neruda*

22. The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert

23. Circe by Madeline Miller

24. The Secret History of Witches by Louisa Morgan

25. Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

26. One Dark Throne by Kendare Blake

27. The Thorn Necklace by Francesca Lia Block

28. Still Lives by Maria Hummel

29. The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

30. Wild by Cheryl Strayed*

31. The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

32. Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard

33. The Hope of Floating has Carried Us This Far by Quintan Ana Wikswo

34. Kings Cage by Victoria Aveyard

35. War Storm by Victoria Aveyard

36. Book of Essie by Meghan MacLean Weir

37. King Kong Theory by Virginie Despentes

38. M-Train by Patti Smith*

39. The Appearance of Annie Van Sinderen by Katherine Howe

40. The Mermaid by Christina Henry

41. The Natural Way of Things by Charlotte Wood

42. The Empath Experience by Sydney Campos

43. Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

44. The Chronology of Water by Lidia Yuknavitch*

45. The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball

46. Uprooted by Naomi Novik

47. Sightlines: a Conversation with the Natural World by Kathleen Jamie

48. Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

49. Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

50. Getting Free by Melinda Alexander

51. Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas

52. Educated by Tara Westover

53. The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

54. Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

55. The Electric Woman by Tessa Fontaine

56. Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Maas

57. Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas

58. Queen of Shadows by Sarah J. Maas

59. Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas

60. The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker

61. Tower of Dawn by Sarah J. Maas

62. Untwine by Edwidge Danticat

63. The Clockmakers Daughter by Kate Morton

64. Two Dark Reigns by Kendare Blake

65. Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas

66. Unsheltered by Barbara Kingsolver

67. Stormwake by Lucy Christopher

68. The Third Hotel by Laura Van Den Berg

69. My LIfe in a Cat House by Gwen Cooper

70. Heartbreaker by Claudia Dey

71. Queens of Innis Lear by Tessa Gratton

72. Once Upon a River by Diane Setterfield

In 2018, I only had five re-reads. Of my seventy-two read, six were written by men. This is because I have an ongoing commitment to read work by women as much as possible. That said, I will still read books by men when I am truly interested in them—and I loved the ones I read and reread by male authors in 2018. As usual, fiction dominated. What was new this year was the sudden and unexpected appearance of Young Adult literature. I think I needed the escape and the magic the genre gives. I feel like this trend may continue in 2019 and I’m not mad at it! I didn’t read much poetry, though I originally planned to. I am completely up for bookish surprises in 2019—so, I am eager to see what will come. I’m already into my first book of 2019 as I write this.

My top books of 2018 (in no order)

1. An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

2. I am, I am, I am by Maggie O’Farrell

3. The Changeling by Victor Lavalle

4. Educated by Tara Westover

5. The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert

6. Circe by Madeline Miller

7. Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders

8. Heartbreaker by Claudia Dey

9. Red Clocks by Leni Zumas

10. Sarah J. Maas—both series

Coming up with a top list is a challenge because I could easily have said ten others on a different day/in a different mood. But, the ones above stayed with me. In a list of over seventy, I think that makes them worthy of mentioning twice. It also is “cheating” to choose Sarah J. Maas as a writer and not just one book, but I read two series of books from her and was completely engaged in both. They are YA fantasy fiction—a complete change for me as a typically die-hard literary fiction reader, as I mentioned above. I am completely ready to go with building my 2019 list. If you have any suggestions, please come find me on Instagram at @bookandbird and let me know! Happy reading!

King Kong Theory

  "I like myself as I am, more desiring than desirable." ~Virginie Despentes~

Did I love this book? Did I feel challenged, frustrated, and provoked by this book? Yes--to all of these. Yes. It is the most evocative reading I have done in a long time, though, and is the only book of 2018 (so far) that I re-read immediately upon finishing. Please read Virginie Despentes for yourself. It won't be a gentle journey and her whole existence is one giant "trigger warning," but that's exactly why she should be read. This is the time for voices like hers to shake things up and raise some hell. Our society has aided and abetted the silencing of volatile, brutal, brillant women for far too long. 

2017: A Year in Books

This year, I ended 2017 by reading my *seventy-fifth* book! I had secretly been hoping to hit 100, but I fell short of that goal. Still, I am so glad I got to read so many amazing new books this year (and to re-read a few old favorites, too). Here is my list in chronological order. I will note my favorites at the end and any ones that have a * are re-reads. I hope my list gives you some ideas for your bookshelf.

***2017***

1. Syllabus by Lynda Barry
2. History of Wolves by Emily Fridlund
3. Eleven Hours by Pamela Erens
4. Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes
5. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley *
6. Swimming Lessons by Claire Fuller
7. Bruja by Wendy Ortiz
8. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
9. Linger by Maggie Stiefvater
10. Abandon Me by Melissa Febos
11. Stranger in the Woods by Michael Finkel
12. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue
13. Marlena by Julie Buntin
14. Blueprints for Building Better Girls by Elissa Schappell
15. The Fifth Petal by Brunonia Barry
16. Page After Page by Heather Sellers *
17. Selected Poems of Emily Dickinson by Modern Library *
18. Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor
19. Rookery by Traci Brimhall *
20. A House of my Own by Sandra Cisernos
21. Pull Me Under by Kelly Luce
22. The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
23. Book of Joan by Lidia Yuknavitch
24. Bright Air Black by David Vann
25. Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
26. Woman Most Wild by Danielle Dulsky
27. Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah Maas
28. A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab
29. Witch by Lisa Lister
30. Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood
31. The Ministry of Utmost Happiness by Arundhati Roy
32. A Million Junes by Emily Henry
33. Fledgling by Octavia Butler
34. The Sellout by Paul Beatty
35. Hunger by Roxane Gay
36. Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes *
37. Euphoria by Lily King
38. Vinegar Girl by Anne Tyler
39. Imagine Me Gone by Adam Haslett
40. Women in the Material World by Faith D'Alusio *
41. Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult
42. The Dark Dark by Samantha Hunt
43. House of Names by Colm Toibin
44. The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne
45. The Lying Game by Ruth Ware
46. The Nix by Nathan Hill
47. Witches of New York by Ami McKay
48. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
49. Lit by Mary Karr *
50. What Happened by Hillary Clinton
51. The Child Finder by Rene Denfeld
52. An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken
53. Norma by Sofi Oksanen
54. Devotion by Patti Smith
55. The Lightkeepers by Abby Geni
56. Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance by Ruth Emmie Lang
57. The Power by Naomi Alderman
58. The Rules of Magic by Alice Hoffman
59. Future Home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich
60. The Art of Misdiagnosis by Gayle Brandeis
61. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanthi
62. Sing Unburied Sing by Jesmyn Ward
63. Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado
64. Light the Dark: Writers on Creativity, Inspiration, and the Artistic Process by Joe Fassler
65. The Crane Wife by Patrick Ness
66. Icarus Girl by Helen Oyeyemi
67. Literary Witches by Taisia Kitaiskaia and Katy Horan
68. Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg *
69. Saudade by Traci Brimhall
70. Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood *
71. Witch Wife (poems) by Kiki Petrosino
72. Blue Pastures by Mary Oliver *
73. Autumn by Ali Smith
74. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison *
75. My Absolute Darling by Gabriel Tallent

Of my list, eleven were rereads (about 14%), sixty-two were written by women (about 83%), and nearly 25% were books by writers of color. As for genre, fiction was the favorite--about 65%, with non-fiction at 24% and poetry at just six books total. In 2018, I hope to keep increasing cultural diversity and to incorporate more poetry. 

My top books of 2017 were (in no order)

1. The Crane Wife by Patrick Ness
2. Fledgling by Octavia Butler
3. The Dark Dark by Samantha Hunt
4. Hunger by Roxane Gay
5. Sing Unburied Sing by Jesmyn Ward
6. The Power by Naomi Alderman
7. Autumn by Ali Smith
8. Future Home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich
9. Abandon Me by Melissa Febos
10. The Lightkeepers by Abby Geni
11. The Art of Misdiagnosis by Gayle Brandeis
12. History of Wolves by Emily Fridlund
13. Bright Air Black by David Vann
14. Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado
15. Book of Joan by Lidia Yuknavitch

Writing my "top books" list was nearly impossible, since I read SO many books I loved. Priestdaddy and What Happened were probably my "least favorite" reads and are the only ones I wouldn't likely recommend, though there were a few others that didn't *quite* live up to the hype for me personally. Overall, 2017 was a powerful reading year for me. I am excited about at least a dozen books coming in 2018, and looking forward to the ones I never saw coming to knock me out, too. If you're a writer, please keep writing. I want your book on my list someday. Happy 2018 and happy reading!

Light & Shadow

The whole world feels like it is mutable. Inconsistent. Unsettled. We all tumble through the latest headlines and heartbreaks and blessings and brokenness. Finding ourselves, if we are lucky, tangled in a large swath of light. Finding ourselves tangled in a lover’s arms. A kiss as remedy. A conversation as medicine. A flare in the darkness. A touch and we remember what hope feels like.

Read the rest of my most recent photo essay at Modern Creative Life: HERE

Into the Woods

"The last remnants memory destroys."  ~W.G. Sebald~

Then, I ran off into the woods to find out if my words were still alive after a busy year of teaching and keeping a life, a house, a family running. We are all still here, but is the creative flow? That's always the question for me after I am away from the page in a full-on way for any period of time. I'd been writing small bits, but not with a full-on committed intensity that the work deserves. As the car wound its way up a long dirt road to a mountainside, I realized I was about to find out if my pen still held a whole universe.

 Millay Colony for the Arts, May 2017. Me, at my desk for hour after hour. Me, in workshops with Melissa Febos and Samantha Hunt. Me, watching deer out the window and listening to the chaos of birds. One night, as I read out loud to our group about screaming foxes, coyotes came down into the field and started calling, not to be outdone. My friends there said, They're encouraging you to use your voice. It rained almost every day. The rain made the whole world alive. I wandered alone over rutted gravel roads and miles of pages. There must be a way to keep this momentum going somehow, Melissa said over lunch. And, I wished there would be, but knew that (for me) once I was out of New York state, I would be back into the busy and my words would again ebb away to low-tide drifts, waiting until the next time. 

I understand that I don't have forever to figure this balancing act out. I visited Edna's grave and left her an offering in gratitude. In using her voice, she created physical and emotional space for other writers to do the same. Edna wasn't a mother, so she would likely not understand the bargains I must make in order to create--the patience it demands--the energy and mental space to hold room for everything. But, my life is the one I have chosen and would choose again and again. The words did come back to me. Full-throated. Glorious. It was easily the most productive long weekend I've ever had as a writer. I am back now three days and haven't written anything other than journal entries and these wandering words, but that doesn't reduce the impact of the time at Millay. And, the truth--the night I returned, I was awakened from my sleep just before dawn to the sound of the foxes welcoming me and I knew that I was home again.