Daily Dose #4: Tarot as Medicine: A Room of One's Own

It's hard for me to even articulate how my tarot life has evolved over the last year. It has gone from something private & insular to a deeply rewarding social experience. I know that, in many ways, this is because of finally having a tarot "home" of my own to devote to readings & meetings with clients. And, I know I have the Oddporium to thank for that. One Sunday a month, I have a chance to sit down with strangers to talk about their lives, their hopes & fears, their stories, their goals, & their emotions. I share what the imagery & mythology of their chosen cards says about their personal experiences. I tell them stories about what themes & advice the cards show. When they sit down at the table across from me, my only thought is that I hope they connect to the tarot in a meaningful way & that the answers they are seeking surface in front of them. A tarot reading with me is about communication & connection. I aim to strip out the fear & myths around the cards & to help facilitate healing & confirmation.  

This act of reading tarot for people has become one of my favorite ways to spend my time with others right now. It allows me, a sensitive introvert who loves meaningful conversations, to get beyond the small-talk I am often awkward with right to the heart of genuine human interaction. I woke this past Sunday & had two cups of tea while I shuffled three decks of cards, deciding which ones would be used at the reading. I ended up with two decks, as always...my Rider Waite standbys & a new Mermaid Tarot by Dame Darcy. The tarot spread I created was intended to bring light to a situation or to important points to consider in the new season. Readings for Spring Equinox...and then snow started to fall. 

The people who arrived were full of their own light, though. Warm-hearted. Generous. I am thankful for every single one of them. I am thankful for every person who has ever sat across the table from me or booked me for an event. Though I have been reading cards more than half of my life, this deepening public tarot journey has come as a surprise to me--but, it is a welcome one. I am writing the tarot, living the tarot, reading the tarot, wearing the tarot under my skin, seeing the elements & messages of the tarot out in the world beyond the cards. A mystery. A gift.  

Curiosity #12: Aganetha Dyck

See the amazing work Aganetha Dyck & her bees: HERE.

Daily Dose #3: Tarot as Medicine: Ace of Swords

"Words, I think, are such unpredictable creatures. No weapon will ever be more powerful than a sentence. Swords may cut and kill, but words will stab and stay, burying themselves in our bones."

~Tahereh Mafi~

The Ace of Swords is a card that speaks to this--the idea of cutting through to the heart of the matter and seeking the truth. There is a need to use the head and not the heart if we are truly to see things clearly in the rocky terrain we suddenly find ourselves on. Swords deal with communication--the double-edged sword of trying to express ourselves and our way of seeing things, while running the risk of being misunderstood. 

This card today is exactly where I am. Anyone who knows me well knows that it isn't terribly easy to know me well. My sword is drawn to keep me safe and to guard against hurt in friendships & relationships. I would much rather hear all about you. Your life. Your love. Your disappointments. Your stories. This is easy for me. Much easier than me trying to express my own fears & needs or truths & stories. These, I frequently hold back until I can't hold back any more. Then, when I say what I need to say, it is often clumsy & whoever I'm speaking to doesn't get what I'm saying anyway--sometimes with terrible results.

Words, I think, are such unpredictable creatures. Indeed. Seeing the Ace of Swords today shows me that I need to be strong & to focus on what I know to be true. I know that I am imperfect. I have a big, roaring, oceanic heart. I am easily wounded, but willing to forgive. I am a writer who is utterly inarticulate when it comes to herself. I am stronger than I'm given credit for. I am clear on what I need, and what I need isn't too much. I am not too much, either. Ace of Swords cuts away all of the self-doubt & confusion & leaves me with the basic message:

Love. Be brave. Pay attention.

Daily Dose #2: Tarot as Medicine: Queen of Pentacles

Tonight, under this strong Virgo Full Moon, I'll be thankful for the Queen of Pentacles, my daily dose. She reminds me to build my own security. To focus on home and things that make me feel taken care of and loved. The Queen of Pentacles has built a life for herself. She is the Earth Goddess, the home-provider, the woman who is secure. Some things have been thrown at me lately that are testing my abilities to stand on my own and trust that I am not others' negative perceptions of me. I am solid/steady and I am allowed to express my thoughts.

So often, women give the reins to everyone else. "I will let my kids lead me." "I will do what my partner wants." "If so & so says this about me, then it must be true." "When this person likes & accepts me, then I'll be worth something." "When I get noticed at work." "When I lose 40lbs." "When I earn X per year." The Queen of Pentacles serves as a reminder that we can all celebrate ourselves, in our imperfect, flawed radiance--right now. We make our own security when we take care of ourselves. Go home, wherever home is for you. Think about all of the ways you support yourself & nurture yourself. Appreciate all that you do to bring love & beauty into your life. You deserve to celebrate your own potential. You are a Queen. Never forget it.

Daily Dose #1: Tarot as Medicine: Strength

"Strength is "total" living - living with the undiluted multiplicity of your being. Combining your capacity to destroy with your power to regenerate and heal. Taming your powers and drives by finding the "inner" power that gives you your strength. Affirm all your individual qualities - be sensitive to what you are feeling every moment."

~Crystal Reflections~

This morning, I cried in the shower, laughed as I drove my kids to school, and stared in silent awe at a giant birdcloud alighting from a strand of trees near my new house. I went inside, made a cup of tea and threw today's card. Strength. The power of strength. The simplicity of strength. The gentle touch of the woman in traditional Rider Waite soothing-taming-overcoming the beast. I set the card on my tarot altar in my bedroom, beside a deer skull and an antique poison bottle full of dirt I filched from outside of Georgia O'Keeffe's studio in New Mexico. Strong medicine.

Today, Strength fell out of the deck as I shuffled it. What I need to know about today. Being in touch with all aspects of myself with solid acceptance. Not letting things get me down. Using gentleness to soothe the wild aches I carry within and the ones I stumble across outside of myself. This woman has known struggle, has learned her way around her own inner nature, has realized that a gentle but determined approach will be the best one at this time. All things I needed to know.

My relationship with tarot over the years has ebbed and flowed. Always present, but not always something I've been willing to discuss with others outside of my immediate circle. That has certainly been shifting over this past year as I am now doing events and private readings for individual clients and parties with my tarot work. My creativity and writing has also been completely guided by tarot--not something I am yet able to share publicly, but the depth of my experience has been profound to me. So, it seemed time that here, on my quiet little blog, I let myself start to share the tarot as medicine and and narrative and to offer doses of my own cards and what they mean to me. I love reading about the tarot and I love the act of being accountable with it. So, this is where my Tarot as Medicine: Daily Dose category begins. I have no rules around it for myself, but it felt important to give it its own space in these occasional rambling words I post here.  

Since this year my card is the Star, guided by Strength, and Strength is what fell into my hands today, this seemed the right moment to let the category-marker start. Another touchstone. Another mirror. Another story to tell.